“how do you like living in rwanda?”

people are very polite.  and as a result, tend to ask me this question a lot. constantly. daily. it is the most obvious and seemingly innocuous question to ask in order to show interest in my life and i appreciate it. i do.  it’s just that… i don’t know how to answer it!  because..

i like rwanda.

“i like rwanda. [convincing nod]… [thoughtful pause]…i mean, yesterday a boy spidermaned onto the side of my car as i was going around a round-about and my heart nearly stopped… but.. yeah, i like it.”

“i like rwanda. i think i have amoebas again and every 12 minutes, the house guard moves the patio furniture from one side of the house to the other and i don’t know why… but yeah. [smile] i really like it.”

and i do.  …most of it.  …usually.

there are aspects of living in kigali, rwanda  that are simply wonderful. first off, it is beautiful- everywhere- all over the country i am constantly stunned by the beauty of the landscape.  also, it is safe- incredibly so – and while, as with anywhere, you are wise to stay vigilant and protect your belongings, the chances of something very bad happening to you in this capital city are much much less than, say, washington dc or berlin.  
it is friendly, there are good restaurants, and while yeah- it’s quiet, and yeah- there is only 1 tv station, and yeah- you have to boil and filter your water..  generally life here is comfortable and very pleasant. it’s hard not to like it.

that being said…

life here makes me bat shit crazy.

but it’s just really hard to explain WHY…

when you are in a place for a long time- long enough to feel that what you’re living there is real life- small things become very important.    people can put up with a lot of hardships- bosses they hate, 45 minute commutes.. rain…. – usually without letting it really attack their inner happiness.  they are okay because on that 45 minutes commute is their favorite little coffee shop.  and while getting rained on may be awful, wearing red galoshes is awesome.  we relish the small comforts and abhor the small irritations.  because small things are accessible, small things add up, and most importantly- small things represent big things.

for example..  you see, i REALLY love tuna fish.

canned or fresh, raw or seared, brilliantly presented tartar or straight out of the can w a fork… i like the tuna.

you get me?

for my first 6 months or so in kigali, i never saw tuna anywhere.  and then, like a tiny miracle, there it was!  (i’ve learned over time that goods availability here tends to come in waves- and also that supply is never, in any way, dictated by demand.)  it was absent, then it was present, and over the last 6 months or so, it has progressively disappeared again.

you will, no doubt then, understand my joy last week when i went into the corner grocer looking for a fix and actually located a can. (FIND!)  it was dinner time and i was hungry and i was now in very high spirits.   i picked up the tuna from the shelf but then immediately- like a ton of bricks- i could feel it. the sense of impending doom.. the can wasn’t price-marked (as most things aren’t) and i braced myself for what i knew was coming…  i asked the grocer how much it cost.

2,500 francs. 2,500 FRANCS! that’s nearly $5, y’all. $5. for a can of tuna fish. GET BENT STORE MAN!

and while i know that prices in kigali do tend to be on the highly ridiculous side, this was too much to bear.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*note- i didn’t do this.*

but i really wanted to. i wanted to because (well, mostly because i had a craving that burned with the intensity of 1000 suns. but also because..) the man wanted to charge me $5 for a can of tuna fish!!!!!!

and that is really frustrating.  but not simply because paying $5 for something i know should cost $.77 is simply impossible on my budget.. it is- and that is a bit defeating.  but because this is the norm in kigali- insanely inflated prices that nobody checks, no one understands, and everybody just accepts.

so-  of course i do understand that higher prices in rwanda are, to a point, obvious and unavoidable.  rwanda is a landlocked country and i do appreciate that importing goods here is truly VERY expensive.  most of the imported goods in our shops come in via mombasa or dar es salaam and travel over-land to get here.  shipping freight charges are just nothing in comparison to all of the other costs collected on the journey to our snuggled little country: the ridiculous fuel costs of land transport, absurdly high import duties, and the many many “miscellaneous taxes” that creep up along the way (this is a euphemism for bribing corrupt police in kenya, tanzania, and uganda- in case that wasn’t clear..) together, these mean that upon arriving in kigali, the cost of everything is blown completely out of proportion.  i know it’s a problem.  and no doubt poses a much greater issue for small store owners who cannot feasibly set up a stable business model when the price and availability of their goods is so unpredictable…

it is the way you will get very different information from officials within the same agency at different levels, pointing to the desperately inadequate communication and educational processes of the public sector,

it is the days when there is simply no connecting to the internet because the country’s infrastructure needs are completely beyond their ability to meet, yet infrastructure, even tech based, does not a sexy development project make..

life in a developing country is full of big problems that affect we inhabitants in fairly small ways on a daily level. but those small irritations pile on top of each other until for what seems like no reason at all, you find yourself seething with anger and saying something quite rude to a local grocer, sure that his sole purpose in life is to ruin your day with his hateful tuna pricing- pricing you cannot help but take as extremely personal.

and yet… this is also a part of what makes the experience special.  there is something heartwarming in those little frustrations- and as I write, I am smiling thinking about the parking lot attendants who, drunk with power, will let you park your car and exit your vehicle, before insisting you return to it and move your car to some other spot for some imaginary reason.

there are many, many things about living in rwanda that are wonderfully lovely- but the things that really make it unique and funny and memorable, sometimes are these moments of maddening frustration and absurdity.  perhaps because these are the moments that you only experience as a resident- that change it in your heart from “strange city” to “home”- or at least “home for now”…